Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”
“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”
“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked.
“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”
“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones
The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey
Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons
Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz
Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe
Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown
Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller
Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy
I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown
The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme
If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson
I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton
I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell
There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie
Cannibal: 1. One who is fed up with people; 2. A person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter; 3. One who loves his fellow man with gravy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones
The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey
Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons
Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz
Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe
Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown
Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller
Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy
I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown
The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme
If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson
I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton
I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell
There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie
Cannibal: 1. One who is fed up with people; 2. A person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter; 3. One who loves his fellow man with gravy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
see also Dining, Food & Political Sections
Mexico Earthquake - the World Helps Out
 Baseball Photobomb |  Great Quotes (B) |  Wayne's Fish |  If You're Happy And You Know It |  Deer Hunter Tattoo |
 Nope, Didn't See A Thing |  Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up |  Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids |  Re-Ewes Me |  It's A Keeper |
 Plankstanders |  Millionaire Women |  Laptop Cooler |  Scan Scam |  Motorcycle Taxi |
25-Jul-2021 |