Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”
“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”
“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked.
“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”
“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz
All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb
Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee
Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite
You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb
The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it. - William Collier
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock
What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore
Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey
When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown
An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling
I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan
If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor
The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison
I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni
I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz
All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb
Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee
Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite
You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb
The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it. - William Collier
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock
What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore
Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey
When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown
An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling
I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan
If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor
The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison
I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni
I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell
see also Dining, Food & Political Sections
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02-Jun-2020 |