Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”
“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”
“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked.
“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”
“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones
It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump
Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.
Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice. - Conan O'Brien
Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite
Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright
Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen
Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy
Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer
You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova
Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson
I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell
There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie
It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump
Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.
Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker
If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice. - Conan O'Brien
Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite
Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright
Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen
Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy
Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer
You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova
Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson
I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell
There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie
see also Dining, Food & Political Sections
Mexico Earthquake - the World Helps Out
 Bestist |  Cement Truck Lane |  Cane Swimmers |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Bartender Spill |
 Angry Mathematician |  Matching Receipt |  Where Nobody Speeds |  A Good Woman |  Front Row Seats |
 Always Full Glass |  Teople Poo |  Only In Canada - Nosey Moose |  Thrilling Read |  Double Line Parking |
16-Jan-2021 |