Mexican Jews
Searching for kosher food in Mexico

Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.

“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”

“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”

“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked.

“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”

“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”


QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sour Kraut: Unhappy with the fare in the Berlin restaurant - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

Cannibal: 1. One who is fed up with people; 2. A person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter; 3. One who loves his fellow man with gravy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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05-Jul-2022