Mexican Jews
Searching for kosher food in Mexico

Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.

“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”

“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”

“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked.

“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”

“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”


QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

Cannibal: 1. One who is fed up with people; 2. A person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter; 3. One who loves his fellow man with gravy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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25-Jul-2021