Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”
“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”
“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked.
“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”
“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones
The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz
Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan
There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard
Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump
Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri
Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb
Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle
Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes
An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling
If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins
The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli
There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz
Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan
There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard
Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump
Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri
Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb
Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle
Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes
An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling
If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins
The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli
There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
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14-Apr-2021 |