Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

A round wife and a full barn are the signs of good success. - Amish Saying

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

A problem occurs when people want the benefits of a relationship with God without the responsibilities of a relationship with God. - Jim Herring

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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03-Jul-2022