Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet

Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

A problem occurs when people want the benefits of a relationship with God without the responsibilities of a relationship with God. - Jim Herring

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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18-Jan-2022