Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Solomon: Jamaican bachelor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Cellfie

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Mom Lookout

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Socialist Job

Graveyard Sundae

Portable Dog Carriers

No More Arguing

Transformers Garage

Soccer Ball Building

Country Office

Lord Of The Rinse

Introvert Soap

No Drowning

Window View

Vanishing Underwater Roller Coaster

Simple Surgery
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15-Jun-2021