Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Anger Release Machine

Inbread Cat

Madness in London

Crotch Rocket

Too Late Sign

Smart Car Security

Motorcycle Texting

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Fresh Out Of The Saddle

Monsoon TV

Radio Shack Closes Down

DIRK

Karate Sign Kick

Evel Knievel Tickets

LiverPool

Romanian Barbeque

Mexican Starfish

On Top Of Things

Beer Chess

The Art of Cropping
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Sep-2021