Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

The power of forgiveness transcends personal relationships. - Eric Metaxas

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. - Molly McGee

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Train Boat

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Canned Art

Bubble Boy

High Wire Bear Feeder

Manitoba Thunderstorm

Watermelon Shark

Curses, Foiled Again

Recipe Holder

Where Do You Want To Eat?

Pick Up After Your Dogs!

Lego Bridge

Falls Trail Tree

Melting Kayak

Beetle Collection

Croc Diet

Plane Restaurant

Holiday Fun

Sandwich Shoes

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06-Jul-2020