Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says
to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”
“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”
“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”
“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”
“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”
Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen
No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde
Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash
In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde
In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard
My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde
I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen
No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde
Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash
In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde
In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard
My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde
I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
see also Marriage Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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20-Oct-2020 |