Once upon a time, there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election.
After much talk about ballot recounting & court challenges, a week-long ice fishing competition between the two candidates seemed the best way to settle things. The winner would be the candidate who caught the most fish at the end of the week.
After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a cold, remote lake in Maine. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification. At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line with 10 fish. Soon, Bush returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having a bad hair day or something and, hopefully, he will catch up the next day.
At the end of the second day, Kerry comes in with 20 fish and Bush comes in again with none. That evening, Bush’s campaign manager gets together secretly with Bush and says, “I think Kerry is a lowlife cheating son-of-a-gun. I want you to go
out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.”
The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish), the campaign manager says to Bush, “Well, what about it, is Kerry cheating’?”
“He sure is,” Bush replied. “He’s cutting holes in the ice.”
Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman
Feudalism: It's your Count that votes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama
All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken
Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison
At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying
There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel
Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas. - Lewis Black
Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields
A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson
Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers
If I don't get along with Democrats, I'm sort of, like, out of business. - Donald Trump
A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson
A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader. - Harry S Truman
The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street. - Kin Hubbard
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki
The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich
It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman
Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. - Benjamin Franklin
It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan
Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
see also Fishing & Political Sections
Cheating Canadian Politician
Cheating U.S. Politician Version (2016)
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05-Jul-2022 |