Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

Ordinary tradegies of war - Archie Bunker

In war, truth is the first casualty. - Aeschylus

How is it possible to have a civil war? - George Carlin

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

There never was a good war or a bad peace. - Benjamin Franklin

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. - George Orwell

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

When the rich make war it's the poor that die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H L Mencken

The United States has much to offer the Third World War. - Ronald Reagan

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. - Jeanette Rankin

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. - Thomas Mann

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

The only thing I’m afraid of is a life without you, Pigeon. - Jamie McGuire

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. - John F Kennedy

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

There is no avoiding war, it can only be postponed to the advantage of your enemy. - Niccolo Machiavelli

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

You can't say civilization don't advance... for every war they kill you a new way. - Will Rogers

'Jihad' can mean holy war to extremists, but it means struggle to the average Muslim. - Feisal Abdul Rauf

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

He's not a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured. - Donald Trump

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

Today is yesterday's victory, yesterday is tomorrow's conquest, and tomorrow is today's war. Though I face death, I am not fearsome. - Nad├Ęge Richards

People think that at the top there isn't much room. They tend to think of it as an Everest. My message is that there is tons of room at the top. - Margaret Thatcher


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29-May-2020