Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
The medium is the message. - Marshall McLuhan

War hath no fury like a non-combatant. - Charles E Montague

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky

Don't win a battle and lose the war. - Unknown

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

You furnish the pictures. I'll furnish the war. - William Randolph Hearst

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come. - Carl Sandburg

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. - Albert Einstein

The United States has much to offer the Third World War. - Ronald Reagan

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

The true champion loses many battles before winning the war. - Unknown

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it. - Desiderius Erasmus

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. - John F Kennedy

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

If it weren't for the Japanese and Germans, we wouldn't have any good war movies. - Stanley Ross

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

For a war to be just three conditions are necessary - public authority, just cause, right motive. - Ernest Hemingway

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts. - Brigitte Bardot

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Once we have a war there is only one thing to do. It must be won. For defeat brings worse things than any that can ever happen in war. - Ernest Hemingway

As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. - Oscar Wilde

People think that at the top there isn't much room. They tend to think of it as an Everest. My message is that there is tons of room at the top. - Margaret Thatcher


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26-Nov-2020