Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

In war, truth is the first casualty. - Aeschylus

A man-of-war is the best ambassador. - Oliver Cromwell

There never was a good war or a bad peace. - Benjamin Franklin

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

A war for a great principle ennobles a nation. - Albert Pike

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come. - Carl Sandburg

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. - Thomas Mann

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I am all fro conversations, but you need to have a message. - Renee Blodgett

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - Dr. Strangelove

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. - Phillip Pullman

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion. - James Reston

For a war to be just three conditions are necessary - public authority, just cause, right motive. - Ernest Hemingway

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

There is no better coach than life: you attend class everyday; all you have to do is listen to the message. - Carl Hennegan

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

But here's what I've learned in this war, in this country, in this city: to love the miracle of having been born. - Oriana Fallaci

If God has given you a message, go and give it to the people as God has given it to you. It is a stupid thing to try to be eloquent. - Dwight L. Moody

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright


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21-May-2022