Exhausting Gyne Work

Top marks for pulling out a car engine


A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.

When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.

“How could that be?” he asked.

“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”


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Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The word 'hackathon' was born out of 'marathon' for a reason. It's exhausting. - Neil Blumenthal

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Bible

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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06-Jul-2020