A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.
When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
“How could that be?” he asked.
“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
The word 'hackathon' was born out of 'marathon' for a reason. It's exhausting. - Neil Blumenthal
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you're doing. - Jim Gaffigan
I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
The word 'hackathon' was born out of 'marathon' for a reason. It's exhausting. - Neil Blumenthal
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you're doing. - Jim Gaffigan
I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Car Surgeon
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
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10-Apr-2021 |