A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.
When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
“How could that be?” he asked.
“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
The twelve notes in each octave and the variety of rhythm offer me opportunities that all of human genius will never exhaust. - Igor Stravinsky
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
The twelve notes in each octave and the variety of rhythm offer me opportunities that all of human genius will never exhaust. - Igor Stravinsky
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
see also Car, Doctor & Mechanical Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Car Surgeon
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
First Proctologist Exam (PG)
German Flatulence Control
Japanese Diving Platform
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
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06-Apr-2020 |