Exhausting Gyne Work

Top marks for pulling out a car engine


A gynaecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics.

When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynaecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%.

“How could that be?” he asked.

“Well,” said the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.”


QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you. - Michelle Obama

The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

The word 'hackathon' was born out of 'marathon' for a reason. It's exhausting. - Neil Blumenthal

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you're doing. - Jim Gaffigan

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever. - Mohamed Al-Fayed

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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10-Apr-2021