Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.
“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his
samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.
“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a
fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly
quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.
“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his
samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew
through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”
“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision...
THAT takes skill!”
You're beautiful, like a May fly. - Ernest Hemingway
Wiping out is an underappreciated skill. - Laird Hamilton
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets
Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned. - Archie Bunker
The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - John Ruskin
Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker
I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington
Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown
The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker
Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte
In the long run, the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. - Napoleon Bonaparte
If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan
Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it shall perish by it. - Edward Gibbon
If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time. - John S Mill
Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without. - Henry David Thoreau
Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau
Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb
It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert
Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie
Man's chief enemy is his own unruly nature and the dark forces pent up within him. - Ernst Jones
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland
The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb
Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. - David S Jordan
Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace
Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler
Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel
The chief pleasure in eating does not consist in costly seasoning, or exquisite flavor, but in yourself. - Horace
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost
Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian
Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes
Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding. - Joseph Addison
see also Armed Forces, Medical & Nationality Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku
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08-Mar-2021 |