Jewish Samurai
Search for the new Chief Samurai

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.

“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.

“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!”



QuotaBills
Don't just fly, soar. - Walt Disney

A good chief gives, he does not take. - Mohawk Proverb

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - George Carlin

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing. - J M Barrie

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

You don't put skill on like a coat - you build it day by day. - Unknown

In the long run, the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin

If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan

Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it shall perish by it. - Edward Gibbon

The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness. - Eric Hoffer

On average it takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master a skill. - Malcolm Gladwell

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without. - Henry David Thoreau

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. - David S Jordan

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter. - Gordon W Allport

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

Every year during their High Holy Days, the Jewish community reminds us all of our need for repentance and forgiveness. - Billy Graham

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

Unless a man has considerable skill and reliance in his weapon, he will not remain cool in the presence of dangerous game close by. - Townsend Whelen

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge


see also   Armed Forces,   Medical  &  Nationality  Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku

 

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21-Jan-2021