Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.
“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his
samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.
“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a
fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly
quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.
“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his
samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew
through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”
“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision...
THAT takes skill!”
The pen is mightier than the sword. - Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Wiping out is an underappreciated skill. - Laird Hamilton
Why, when I am talking, does time seem to fly? - Bob Grant
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. - Will Rogers
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks
The bird who dares to fall is the bird who learns to fly. - Unknown
I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy
If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. - Roy T Bennett
I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller
You don't put skill on like a coat - you build it day by day. - Unknown
Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker
If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions. - Alfred Adler
On average it takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master a skill. - Malcolm Gladwell
For those determined to fly, having no wings is just a little detail. - Unknown
Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader. - Obi Wan Kenobi
If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams
That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time. - John S Mill
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams
If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova
Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch
Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali
The chief aim of wisdom is to enable one to bear with the stupidity of the ignorant. - Winston Churchill
He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb
Man's chief enemy is his own unruly nature and the dark forces pent up within him. - Ernst Jones
Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie
Misfortunes, untoward events, lay open, disclose the skill of a general, while success conceals his weakness, his weak points. - Horace
Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb
"Underlings should always be uncomfortable in the presence of their superiors," said the Emperor. "Don't you agree?" - Paul S. Kemp
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi
see also Armed Forces, Medical & Nationality Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku
 Ostrich Fill Up |  Calory Bomb |  Interuption Charge |  Reach For Your Dreams |  Perception |
 Jeopardy Measuring Cup |  All We Have To Do Is Stand Up |  Vacuum Extender |  BrownEes |  Chinese Puzzle Car |
 Always Give 100% At Work |  Ancient Politician |  My Toaster Is Broken |  Shining Stars |  Tunnel Face |
 The Bugs Are Bad This Year |  Dog Spa |  Ostrich Imprint |  Local Crabs |  World's First Hard Hat |
29-Jun-2022 |