Jewish Samurai
Search for the new Chief Samurai

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.

“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.

“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!”



QuotaBills
If I cannot fly, let me sing. - Stephen Sondheim

You're beautiful, like a May fly. - Ernest Hemingway

Wiping out is an underappreciated skill. - Laird Hamilton

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned. - Archie Bunker

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - John Ruskin

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

In the long run, the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan

Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it shall perish by it. - Edward Gibbon

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time. - John S Mill

Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without. - Henry David Thoreau

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

Man's chief enemy is his own unruly nature and the dark forces pent up within him. - Ernst Jones

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. - David S Jordan

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

The chief pleasure in eating does not consist in costly seasoning, or exquisite flavor, but in yourself. - Horace

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding. - Joseph Addison


see also   Armed Forces,   Medical  &  Nationality  Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku

 

ThaiTanic

Redneck Tree Fort

Hot Job in the City

Google Glasses

MultEye Personality

Peter Cotton Ale

Grandma Needs Help

FedUPS

Before Twitter

Early Spring Planting Yields Extra Returns

Needle's Eye Bike

Depressing Situation

Drink And Drive Directions

Texas Roller Blades

Frog Spout Security

Family Reunion

You Otter See This

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Mexican Salad Dressing

Happy Centipede
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

08-Mar-2021