Jewish Samurai
Search for the new Chief Samurai

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.

“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.

“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!”



QuotaBills
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Your compassion is a skill that can be exercised. - Simeon Lindstrom

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Years fly by, but the heart stays in the same place. - Harlan Coben

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

Flight attendants don't die, they just fly higher. - Unknown

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it shall perish by it. - Edward Gibbon

On average it takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master a skill. - Malcolm Gladwell

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

I am a genre lover - everything from spaghetti western to samurai movies. - Quentin Tarantino

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. - David S Jordan

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now. - Zig Ziglar

He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. - Edmund Burke

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets. - Oscar Wilde

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. - Helen Keller

Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian

Unless a man has considerable skill and reliance in his weapon, he will not remain cool in the presence of dangerous game close by. - Townsend Whelen

"Underlings should always be uncomfortable in the presence of their superiors," said the Emperor. "Don't you agree?" - Paul S. Kemp

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


see also   Armed Forces,   Medical  &  Nationality  Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku

 

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13-Aug-2020