Jewish Samurai
Search for the new Chief Samurai

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.

“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.

“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!”



QuotaBills
Hire character. Train skill. - Peter Schutz

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

I rate enthusiasm even above professional skill. - Edward Appleton

Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it. - Mark Twain

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out. - Ho Chi Minh

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

You don't put skill on like a coat - you build it day by day. - Unknown

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions. - Alfred Adler

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader. - Obi Wan Kenobi

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. - Helen Keller

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

"Underlings should always be uncomfortable in the presence of their superiors," said the Emperor. "Don't you agree?" - Paul S. Kemp

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding. - Joseph Addison

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


see also   Armed Forces,   Medical  &  Nationality  Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku

 

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24-Jan-2020