Ethiopian Math

Halved or Doubled - the answer is always right!

Ethiopian tribesmen can only double or halve numbers - by using pebbles as counters. By halving and doubling, they take any two numbers, multiply them and come out with the right answer.

For example, if a tribesman wants to buy 13 sheep at 15 Ethiopian dollars each, here's how he works it out...

Put 13 in a left column, and 15 in a right column. Halve the left figure - you get 6 1/2... ignore the 1/2 (Ethiopians don't know anything about fractions). Double the right-hand figure. Keep this up until the left-hand figure is 1. You should now have:

     13     15
      6      30
      3      60
      1    120

Even numbers in the left column are evil to the superstitious tribesmen, and must be destroyed - together with their guilty partners. So scratch out 6 and its partner 30. Now add the right-hand column and you have the correct answer: 195. Try this with any two numbers - it doesn't matter which side is halved or doubled - the answer is always right! The Ethiopian's primitive mind simply cannot grasp how our system works. Of course you see at once how this joe-k works... Or do you?

Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions

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