Doctor’ed Birthday Cake

Special cake topping for the wife’s birthday


For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:

You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.

Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”

It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:

YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.


QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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25-Nov-2020