For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown
We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns
With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown
We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns
With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
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22-Jan-2020 |