For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison
"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
On my 85th birthday, I felt like a 20-year-old. But there wasn't one around. - Milton Berle
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison
"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
On my 85th birthday, I felt like a 20-year-old. But there wasn't one around. - Milton Berle
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
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09-Dec-2019 |