For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice
Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. - Steven Wright
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson
The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
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