For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
Live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton
A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
Live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton
A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
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Doctor Types
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Perfect Birthday Excuse
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“Underneath That” Cake
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05-Aug-2020 |