For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright
Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney
Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black
I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried
When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright
Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
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25-Nov-2020 |