For his wife’s birthday party, a Doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
You are not getting older.
You are just getting better.
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good Doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Cake is the answer, no matter the question. - Unknown
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
I always add a year to myself, so I'm prepared for my next birthday. So when I was 39, I was already 40. - Nicolas Cage
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Thank you to all who posted kind birthday wishes. I'm touched. The rest of you will be un-friended tomorrow. - Unknown
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Cake is the answer, no matter the question. - Unknown
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin
I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn
The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
I always add a year to myself, so I'm prepared for my next birthday. So when I was 39, I was already 40. - Nicolas Cage
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Thank you to all who posted kind birthday wishes. I'm touched. The rest of you will be un-friended tomorrow. - Unknown
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
see also Birthday, Doctor & Marriage Sections
Bacon Birthday Cake
Big Birthday Surprise
Birthday Dog
Blonde’s Birthday Task
Cake Message
Centennial Puff
Cheap Birthday Card
Crowded Birthday Party
DJ Birthday
Doctor Types
Family Birthday Reminder
Hippy Birthday
Jurassic Judah
Perfect Birthday Excuse
Redneck Birthday Cake
Shark Week Birthday Cake
“Underneath That” Cake
Woodcutter Birthday Cake
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11-Apr-2021 |