Pipe Talk

Of course I know how to roll a joint. - Martha Stewart

Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - Benjamin Disraeli

It makes me feel the way I need to feel. - Snoop Dogg

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. - William Shakespeare

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Love is an exploding cigar that you willingly smoke. - Lynda Barry

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. - Bob Marley

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

I'm suffering a little bit from smoke exhilaration. - Archie Bunker

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. - Barack Obama

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. - George Burns

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

She's not a pothead. That thing on her neck is a vase. And anyway, I'm all for legalization. After all, why should surrealism be illegal? - Jarod Kintz

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit... unnatural? - Bill Hicks

It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics... dope and all that crap. It's a thousand times better than whiskey - it's an assistant - a friend. - Louis Armstrong

The plan I am proposing today does not involve smoke and mirrors, phony numbers, financial gimmicks, or the usual economic chicanery you usually find in Disneyland-on-the-Potomac. - Donald Trump

The U.S. should legalize marijuana, tax it, and send all the proceeds to NASA. NASA would inspire kids to explore the universe and pot would inspire adults to explore the universe. - Carl Sagan

Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis. - Nick Offerman

President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word "ruining" the country with "running" the country. - Kilburn Hall