Babcock Divorce

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers are guardians of the legal order. - Philip Wood

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli