When Men Shop For Groceries

Setting the stage for Conscious Uncoupling

Shopping lists are a piece of cake for guys


“Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had avocados.”


If you’re a woman, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again!
Men will get it the first time...

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Food,  Marriage,  Relationship  &  Shopping  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Instead Of Flowers
Kenwood Chef
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Bike Park - Where'd It Go?

Yoga Man

Dog Walking For a Healthy Lifestyle

Outhouse Bike

Ice Cone Cat

Disciple Golf Day

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Invisible Patient

Buy One Get One Free

Little Drinker

We Get It, You're From Texas

Bed Ridden and Proud Of It

Redneck Cooler

Saskatchewan Mansion

Make America Grate Again

Flower Basket

Donkey Cart

Music Note Chairlift

Thanks For Noticing
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-Jan-2020