Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly

 

Hair Do

Hairstyle Of The Year

Frozen Fish Meal

Horse Hair

Best Hands-On Coverage

Pressing Art

Mask Alternatives

Watch Out For Deer!

Chinese Music School

Student Driver

iPad Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

It Even Has A Chimney

Seal Survival

www: Wagtail Windscreen Wiper
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

15-Apr-2021