Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
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21-May-2022