Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly

 

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25-Jul-2021