Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly

 

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain
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25-May-2020