The Perfect Dog

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

You rarely meet a wino with perfect pitch. - George Carlin

You don't have to be perfect to be brilliant. - Mark Eyre

Perfect numbers, like perfect men, are very rare. - Rene Descartes

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. - Unknown

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle. - Walt Whitman

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Be humble enough to admit you're not perfect, but determined enough to strive to be perfect. - Unknown

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Don't expect your friend to be a perfect person. But help your friend to become a perfect person. That is true friendship. - Mother Teresa

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit? - Jarod Kintz

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia