Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
If you put an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to baste him. - George Bernard Shaw
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
Computer Multitasker - He Be Da' Man!
Spamdex Pork Shorts
What's Your Blues Name?
Big Sister vs Big Brother
Growing Own Pot
Duct Tape Wall Bed
How Do You Like Your Steak?