Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy ’O’Furniture.
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A sham rock.
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they wear green.
Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it’s a French fry.
Q: What does it mean when you find a lucky horseshoe?
A: Some unlucky horse is going barefoot.
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers instead of red ones?
A: The red ones were in the wash.
Q: Why is an Irish river rich?
A: Because it has two banks.
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant.
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus
I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon
Like an Irishman's obligation, all on the one side, and always yours. - English saying
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Irish & St. Patrick’s Day
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Dog
Teddy Bear Dance
What’s Under The Kilt?
The 'New' Economy
2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars
a real Bald Eagle
Roo With No Respect
Cheap Birthday Card
A Shark Ate My Homework
Victorian Bathing Machine
Winter in Wyoming