Rule 1 - The Boss is always right.
Rule 2 - If the Boss is wrong, see Rule 1.
Rule 3 - Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
Rule 4 - Ph.D. stands for “Pull Him Down”. The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person… the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
Rule 5 - If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
Rule 6 - When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never
talking about themselves.
Rule 7 - It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.
Rule 8 - A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Rule 9 - Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Rule 10 - The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
Rule 11 - If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.
Rule 12 - When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Rule 13 - Following the rules will not get the job done.
Rule 14 - If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
Rule 15 - Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous”.
Rule 16 - No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
Rule 17 - You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are supposed to be doing.
Rule 18 - In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
Rule 19 - In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
Rule 20 - The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Office & Work Sections
Happy Down Under Day
In Deep Water
2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)
Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute
No More Arguing
Multi-Pour Coffee Pot
Things Bottled Up
Dark Ages for Jews
Starbucks Goes Extra Mile