The Perfect Dress

Best way to rehearse for a dress run


Julia’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement. Her mother, who had recently gone through a nasty divorce, had just found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Julia was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Julia asked her step-mother to exchange it, but she refused.

“Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied peevishly.

Julia told her mother, who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

That weekend, Julia and her Mom went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Julia asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!”


QuotaBills
Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

You rarely meet a wino with perfect pitch. - George Carlin

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. - Ted Turner

Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. - Unknown

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Calamity is the perfect glass wherein we truly see and know ourselves. - William D'Avenant

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William Thackeray

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Be humble enough to admit you're not perfect, but determined enough to strive to be perfect. - Unknown

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

The birch-bark canoe of the savage seems to me one of the most beautiful and perfect things of the kind constructed by human art. - William C. Bryant

You have to do what you love to do, not get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. - Lucinda Basset

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

There is no perfect solution to depression, nor should there be. And odd as this may sound, we should be glad of that. It keeps us human. - Lesley Hazelton

You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. - Barbara Sher

Q: When is the perfect time?
A: Who can say, but probably somewhere between haste and delay - and it's usually most wise to start today. - Rasheed Ogunlaru

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Clothing,  Shopping  &  Wedding  Sections
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16-Feb-2020