Are You OLD?
You’re Not A Kid Anymore!

According to Jeff Foxworthy, you’re not a kid anymore WHEN...

8 AM is your idea of “sleeping in”.

Neighbours borrow your tools.

Others ask for your recipes.

People ask what color your hair USED to be.

The only reason you’re still awake at 4 AM is indigestion.
The phone rings and you hope its not for you.
The service station attendant lets you pump your gas before paying.

You answer a question with “... Because I said so!”
You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You don’t like to drive after dark.
You don’t remember when you got that mole... or the one next to it.
You enjoy watching the News.
You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You paint walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
You point out what buildings used to be where.
You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.
You rake the yard without being told to.
You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
You routinely check the oil in your car.
You say the words, “Turn that music down!”
You start Christmas shopping in August.
You start singing along with the elevator music.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You write ‘Thank You’ notes without being told.
You’re proud of your lawnmower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn’t breaking any laws.
Your car has four doors.
You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve come back into style - TWICE.

see also   Aging   Section


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