[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log
of Sarasota, Florida…]
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it. Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.
Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown
The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal
The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde
I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber
Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky
I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin
Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde
It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz
Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet
How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis
Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister
Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley
I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown
Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson
Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato
see also Aging & Police Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies
 Kung Fu Driver |  Ford Quadricycle |  Redneck Hayride |  Ice Boat |  Atom Trust |
 Electricity Storage |  Be Patient |  Can Never Have Too Many Tools |  Roller Blade Heels |  Pedal Car Mechanic |
 Winterpeg Warm |  Box Biker |  Ice Hockey Meltdown |  Swingers |  Patience and Wisdom |
 Hippo Race |  Tank Top Security |  Bus Office |  I Lost My Job With Lifeline |  Wet Rain |
27-Oct-2020 |