[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log
of Sarasota, Florida…]
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it. Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber
The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb
Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky
I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson
God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson
I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon
Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet
How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis
Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye
Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie
The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James
In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days are long. - Nikita I Panin
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson
Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy
I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown
Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson
Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato
To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay
see also Aging & Police Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies
 Fox Hunting Madness |  Emperor Penguins |  The Side Effects of Veganism |  Stair Railing Electrician |  Cold Faucet |
 Make Womb For Baby |  Hardtail Bike |  Birth Control Kit |  Come-Back Line Of The Year |  Duck Gears |
 Chewing Gum Hazard |  Keyboard Seating |  Bent Over |  Whatchamacallit Car |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |
 Gone To Market |  Peak Bernie |  Female IT Experts |  Obi-Juan Kenobi |  Fuse ReplaceMeant |
27-Jan-2021 |