Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




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Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Old age is life's parody. - Simone de Beauvoir

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato


see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections
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Aging Mermaid
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Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
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Florida’s Retired Bikers
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Lineup For Dinner

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A Dog's Worst Nightmare

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Teenage Independence

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Bobslide Event

Scooter Races

Bull Squirrel

Wife Consumption

Chinese Shoelusion

Craneception
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27-Jul-2021