Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




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Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato


see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies

 

Kung Fu Driver

Ford Quadricycle

Redneck Hayride

Ice Boat

Atom Trust

Electricity Storage

Be Patient

Can Never Have Too Many Tools

Roller Blade Heels

Pedal Car Mechanic

Winterpeg Warm

Box Biker

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Swingers

Patience and Wisdom

Hippo Race

Tank Top Security

Bus Office

I Lost My Job With Lifeline

Wet Rain
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27-Oct-2020