[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log
of Sarasota, Florida…]
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it. Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.
Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier
I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason
One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips
The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley
Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson
I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis
Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich
When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn
Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis
One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde
I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown
I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud
Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott
Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato
To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay
see also Aging & Police Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies
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 How Did They Get There? |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Dent Wizard |  Painted Fence |  Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad |
 Reaching The Ocean |  Worst Aid |  How To Make A Deer Stand |  Make Your Own Plectrum |  Too Little Too Late |
 Pelican Sunrise |  Modern Romance |  Moose Police |  Exhaust Condensation Reducer |  Concrete Guestrooms |
16-Apr-2021 |