Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…] An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!” The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. QuotaBills Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections Aging Cyclist Aging Mermaid Bird Walker Boy Scout Scooter Camel Walkers Cold One Dance While You Can Dear Crossing Elderly Rocker Florida’s Retired Bikers Grandma’s Controller Harley Half Ton iPhone Dock It’s Never Too Late, Harley Jogging Bike Just Like Grandpa Newfie Senior Scooter Once A Kid, Always A Kid Onward, My Noble Steed! 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27-Jan-2020