[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log
of Sarasota, Florida…]
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it. Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.
Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller
One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber
Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson
A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown
Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz
W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler
Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days are long. - Nikita I Panin
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy
I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud
Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott
When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry
see also Aging & Police Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies
 Fuse Bypass |  Good Boy |  British Tea Party |  Roadside Assistance |  Chair Boy |
 Cheers Beer |  African Airstrip |  Horsepower vs Torque |  Filling Up Is OverRated |  Flywood |
 Ukraine Aid |  Handicap Motorcyclist |  Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage |  Messerschmitt |  UNinvolved |
 Plane Oops! |  Manitoba Home Security System |  Outdoor Pool |  Working From Home |  Snowbound Train |
18-May-2022 |