[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log
of Sarasota, Florida…]
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it. Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate
Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb
I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu
Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin
Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin
Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman
More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare
There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich
While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal
Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott
To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay
see also Aging & Police Sections
Aging Cyclist
Aging Mermaid
Bird Walker
Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
Cold One
Dance While You Can
Dear Crossing
Elderly Rocker
Florida’s Retired Bikers
Grandma’s Controller
Harley Half Ton
iPhone Dock
It’s Never Too Late, Harley
Jogging Bike
Just Like Grandpa
Newfie Senior Scooter
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Racing Grandpa
Scooter Down
Scooter Duo
Scooter Races
Seatbelt Extender
Senior’s Paddle Surfboard
Snow Tires for Seniors
Treadmill Workout
Walker Buddies
 Pill Man |  Bus Wait Weight |  It Should Start |  Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time! |  Sparks Recycling |
 Last Gasp Request |  Flower Shop For Men |  Canadian Archaeology |  Tank Top Security |  One Beer A Day |
 Tennis Hammock |  Fare Dodger |  Husband of the Year |  Bolder Boulder |  Shoe Stop |
 Exactly How I Feel |  Circle Of Life |  Outback Waterhole |  Next Week Plans |  Cycle Feeding Your Cows |
18-Nov-2019 |