Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections
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Florida’s Retired Bikers
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16-Apr-2021