Does the statement, “We’ve always done it that way”
ring any bells? The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is
4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an odd number, don’t you think? Why was that gauge
used?
- Because that’s the way they built railroads in England, and English
expatriates built the U.S. Railroads. Why did the English build them like that?
- Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the
pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that
gauge then?
- Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that
they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Then why did the
wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
- Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on
some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of
the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?
- Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for
their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads?
- Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match
for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for
Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. The U.S.
standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original
specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot And bureaucracies live forever…
So the next time you are handed a specification and
wonder what horse’s ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the
Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back
ends of two war horses...
Now the twist to the story... When you see a
Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets
attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters (SRBs).
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who
designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs
had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad
line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs
had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad
track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’
behinds. So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the
world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand
years ago by the width of a horse’s ass.
And you thought being a Horse’s Ass wasn’t important...
Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II
Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Reindeer: A horse with a hat rack - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown
Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx
Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb
A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith
The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau
The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill
This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh
An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus
Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb
The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K
Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden
The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb
You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Unicorn: 1. A single blemish on the foot; 2. A horse with a point of view. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci
To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman
Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy
A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio
And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
see also Horse, Language & Travel Sections
A New “Brand” of Pain - OUCH!!!
Double Horse
Frog To Horse Illusion
Head Path
Horse Hair
Horse Hat
Horse Laughter
Horse Model
Neigh Be Barn With It
Quarter Horse or Quarterhorse?
Tonto’s Horse Coolant
World’s First Horse Power Vehicle
 Vegetarian MissSteak |  VW Owner |  Zoo Invitation |  Robbie Knievel Tickets |  Carb Cutter |
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 I Shoot People! |  Evolution and Philosophy |  Owl Get Around To It |  Redneck Piton |  The World Is Going Down The Drain |
 First Dodge Ram |  Moldy Bible |  Aussie Definition of 'Lucky' |  Church on Wheels |  Hungry Tree |
06-Dec-2021 |