Little Johnny watched the science teacher start an experiment with worms.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”
Science is organized knowledge. - Herbert Spencer
Every runner is an experiment of one. - George Sheehan
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
Science is the record of dead religions. - Oscar Wilde
Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit. - Vince Lombardi
Learn to hold loosely all that is not eternal. - A. Maude Royden
You live and learn, then die and forget it all. - Noel Coward
Play is our brain's favorite way of learning. - Diane Ackerman
There is little you can learn from doing nothing. - Zig Ziglar
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown
We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm. - Winston Churchill
The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. - Sydney J. Harris
I realized my mission in life was to learn more, not earn more. - Surya Das
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy. - Sarah Ban Breathnach
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein
Even when I have absolutely nothing to do, homework is not an option. - Unknown
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright
Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again. - Richard Branson
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi
Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life. - Lawrence Kasdan
An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. - Charles F. Kettering
I am convinced that the best learning takes place when the learner takes charge. - Seymour Papert
We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys. - William Arthur Ward
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in. - Morrie Schwartz
The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Samuel Butler
Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. - Montaigne
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx
The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you'll go. - Dr. Seuss
I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole
I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt
Science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next ten. - Neil A Armstrong
I wanted to be scared again. I wanted to feel unsure again. That's the only way I learn, the only way I feel challenged. - Connie Chung
If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this. - Spencer Silver
Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton
Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato
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