Little Johnny watched the science teacher start an experiment with worms.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t have worms.”
Learning never exhausts the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci
There is no education like adversity. - Benjamin Disraeli
Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde
Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness. - Buddha
Learning, undigested by thought, is labor lost. - Confucius
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown
Knowledge without education is but armed injustice. - Horace
The day you stop learning is the day you begin decaying. - Isaac Asimov
True science teaches, above all, to doubt and be ignorant. - Miguel de Unamuno
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. - Chinese Proverb
Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi
Science becomes dangerous only when it imagines that it has reached its goal. - George Bernard Shaw
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams
The only thing we learn from new elections is we learned nothing from the old. - American Proverb
We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light. - Earl Nightingale
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger
Men are probably nearer the central truth in their superstitions than in their science. - Henry David Thoreau
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Samuel Butler
I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Education doesn't change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard. - Robert Frost
Bookworm: A person who would rather read than eat, or a worm that would rather eat than read - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously. - G K Chesterton
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx
The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun
Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace
Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. - Henry Brougham
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore
Higher education is booming in the United Sates; the Gross National Mind is mounting along with the Gross National Product. - Malcolm Muggeridge
I try to extract something positive from (every) situation, even if it's just learning not to make the same mistake twice. - Claudia Schiffer
Those who fail to learn from the brutal stompings visited on them in the past are doomed to be brutally stomped in the future. - Hunter S Thompson
If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this. - Spencer Silver
The march of science and technology does not imply growing intellectual complexity in the lives of most people. It often means the opposite. - Thomas Sowell
I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. - Henry Ford
Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history. Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks. - Stephen Hawking
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