A patient steps into the proctologist’s office for his first exam. The Doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen All of my friends who have younger siblings who are going to college or high school - my number one piece of advice is: You should learn how to program. - Mark Zuckerberg I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. - George Carlin If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people. - Jay Mathews Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word "ruining" the country with "running" the country. - Kilburn Hall see also Doctor Section Acceptable Doctors Sign Colon Celery Colorectal Exam For Dogs Colorectal Surgeon Praise Constipated Mathematician Dog Proctologist Fart Facts German Flatulence Control Menopause Sucks One Wee Scottish Farty Proctologist Call Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice Singing Gynecologist |
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