A patient steps into the proctologist’s office for his first exam. The Doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
When the man sat down and began observing the tools. He noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When the Doctor finally came in the man said, “Look Doc, I’m a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?”
At that the Doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse... “Darnit, Catherine - I said a BUTT LIGHT!”
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
University: 1. A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand; 2. A mental institution. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
All of my friends who have younger siblings who are going to college or high school - my number one piece of advice is: You should learn how to program. - Mark Zuckerberg
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughan
Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau
If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people. - Jay Mathews
I wish I had thrown out the bathroom scale at age 16. Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth. - Anne Lamott
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
University: 1. A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand; 2. A mental institution. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
All of my friends who have younger siblings who are going to college or high school - my number one piece of advice is: You should learn how to program. - Mark Zuckerberg
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughan
Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau
If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people. - Jay Mathews
I wish I had thrown out the bathroom scale at age 16. Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth. - Anne Lamott
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams
see also Doctor Section
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
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18-Sep-2021 |