A patient steps into the proctologist’s office for his first exam. The Doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
When the man sat down and began observing the tools. He noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When the Doctor finally came in the man said, “Look Doc, I’m a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?”
At that the Doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse... “Darnit, Catherine - I said a BUTT LIGHT!”
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams
President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word "ruining" the country with "running" the country. - Kilburn Hall
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams
President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word "ruining" the country with "running" the country. - Kilburn Hall
see also Doctor Section
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
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 At Home Grave |  Boatload Interception |  Shadow Seats |  Alice In Hulaland |  French Army Knife |
 Putting Your Foot Down |  Chicken Rider |  ManHole |  Hurricane Irene |  Day At The Beach |
15-Jul-2020 |