Cannibalizing The Useful Staff

Corporate Cannibals


A large corporation recently hired several cannibals.

“You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please - don’t eat any of the other employees.”
The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”

The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you morons ate the secretary?”

A hand rose hesitantly.

“You fool,” the leader continued. “For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NO-OOOOO… you had to go and eat someone important!”


QuotaBills
Earn your leadership every day. - Michael Jordan

Black Panther leader Elder Cleavage. - Archie Bunker

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

The supreme quality of leadership is integrity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch. - Joseph Addison

Management is a practice where art, science, and craft meet. - Henry Mintzberg

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

The true test of leadership is how well you function in a crisis. - Brian Tracy

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde

I am not yet ready to be czar. I know nothing of the business of ruling. - Nicholas II

Being positive in a negative situation is not naive, it's leadership. - Ralph Marston

In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders. - Sheryl Sandberg

Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and in actions. - Harold S Geneen

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves. - Ray Kroc

Ninety percent of leadership is the ability to communicate something people want. - Dianne Feinstein

The greatest leaders mobilize others by coalescing people around a shared vision. - Ken Blanchard

Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world. - Sir William Temple

If you want to be a leader, you must have ideas. If not, you're simply a follower. - T Mohamad

Music is everybody's business. It's only the publishers who think people own it. - John Lennon

If a man's character is to be abused, there's nobody like a relative to do the business. - Alexander Pope

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Business is a sprint until you find an opportunity, then it's the patience of a marathon runner. - Robert Herjavec

If people like you, they'll listen to you. But if they trust you, they'll do business with you. - Zig Ziglar

Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out. - Stephen Covey

It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way. - Ernest Hemingway

Let every one ascertain his special business and calling, and then stick to it if he wants to be successful. - Benjamin Franklin

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The goal of an effective leader is to recondition your team to be solution focused rather than problem focused. - Unknown

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. - Scott Adams

Basketball develops individuality, initiative, and leadership. Now get out there and do exactly what I tell you to. - Dick Vitale

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

A manager is a title, it does not guarantee success. Coaching is an action, not a title and actions will result in successes. - Catherine Pulsifer

Cut out the free feed for the boss hogs at the public trough and the spill-over they've been leaving us. We'll manage. - Paul Harvey

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way. - Edna Ferber


see also   Business  Section
Canada - World Leader of Northern-ness
Cheerless Leader
College in a Nutshell
Dog Marathon
Duckling Dog
Follow The Leader
How Is Your Day Going?
Indian Weather Forecasting
Leading a Remote Life
Leading By Example
Moroff Manager
Ring Leader
Self Confidence
Street Cheerleader
Yoga Leadership

 

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27-Jun-2022