1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A) ’66 Ford Fairlane B) ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle C) ’64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man’s land?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain?
* For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
11. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?
How Rednecks succeed at College
See if he passed the literaracy test. - Archie Bunker
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick
Architecture begins where engineering ends. - Walter Gropius
The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin
Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko
Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain
I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump
Your best self shows up only when you are put to an impossible test. - Unknown
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal. - Sigfried Hulzer
I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson
I will study and prepare myself… and someday my chance will come. - Abraham Lincoln
Success can test one's mettle as surely as the strongest adversary. - Unknown
To acquire knowledge one must study. To acquire wisdom one must observe. - Marilyn Vos Savant
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first and the lesson after. - Vernon S Law
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. - E. Joseph Cossman
It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan
If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith
One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain
Not every puzzle is intended to be solved. Some are in place to test your limits. Others are, in fact, not puzzles at all. - Vera Nazarian
I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal
That is the exploration that awaits you! Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence. - Leonard Nimoy
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. - Bill Vaughan
Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau
As an adult and a parent, when I'm not acting, I'm not acting. I'm being a parent, and I'm on the school run, and I'm sewing labels onto socks. - Kate Winslet
The best narrative is one of infinite love. A spiritual affair - one not of the material world. Intermingled, with no beginning nor end - it will always stand the test of time. - Terry A. O'Neal
For one human being to love another - that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks: the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. - Rainer M Riike
I'm a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country. The reason I have a little doubt, just a little, is because he grew up and nobody knew him. - Donald Trump
College, Engineering & Redneck Sections
Anything To Pass The Exam
Apocryphal Metaphors from Student Essays
Children’s Science Exam Answers
Inspiring School Exams
How It's Done
Daily Rain Gauge
Do Not Touch Sign
Giant Step For Mankind
On This Site in 1897
Ship Shipping Ships
The Power Of Faith
Jesus Was Here
Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service
Pine Trees Know When It's Easter
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Kick Out Boxing
Patience and Wisdom