My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.
The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander
No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate. - Unknown
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry
Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright
I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland
Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang
The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander
No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate. - Unknown
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry
Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright
I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland
Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang
The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
see also Farm Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen
 Hot Tub Cover |  Piano Dress |  Parking Guide |  Apology to Potential Criminals |  Before Morning Coffee |
 Sons Of Arthritis |  Challenge Accepted |  Subway Camouflage |  In Stitches |  Great White |
 2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3) |  Can I Lick It |  It Was A Dark And Stormy Night |  Velociraptor Defined |  Redneck Muffler Repair |
 Drama Queen Diary |  He Looks Just Like His Father! |  Happy Snow Car |  Sand Strap Experience |  Redneck Calf Feeder |
22-Feb-2020 |