My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers
The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown
My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage
Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray
This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis
I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland
Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers
The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White
Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown
My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage
Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray
This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization. - Daniel Webster
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis
I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland
Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang
Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
see also Farm Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen
 Programmer Logic |  Team Foosball |  Slow Down Sign |  Bike Chaser |  NFL Referees |
 No Go Intersection |  Staple Diet |  Darth Vader Dog |  PacMan Lights |  Uncommon Name |
 DMV Office |  Meat You In The Locker Room |  Football Chicks |  Baby's Dog Rug |  Chair Folders |
 Seeing Eye Cat |  Swim Fingers |  Vatican Wall |  Computer Multitasker - He Be Da' Man! |  Modern Romance |
28-Sep-2020 |