My uncle John was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.
Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My uncle’s favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing, but Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.
The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower
When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke
A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock
Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker
Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb
The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth
You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. - Unknown
Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin
I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo
We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker
If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson
It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown
Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill
The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
Don't let your dreams rust! Listen to your youthful bells ringing loud inside of you. - Bernard Kelvin Clive
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow
My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore
If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower
When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke
A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali
It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin
see also Farm Section
Cat Nap
Chick Incubator
Family Reunion
Flamingo Imposter
Hen Pecked
Mom Lookout
Once Is Never Enough
Rooster Retirement
Super Hen
 Sawfish Sword |  Babysitter Dog |  Bag Feelers |  Love Feeding Birds |  Backup Grill |
 Yoda-Churchill |  Royal Knit Wit |  Make Loaf Not War |  Topping The Charts |  Passageway |
 Wet Suit Danger |  Shopping With Grandma |  Colorectal Exam For Dogs |  Suitcase Recycling |  1941 PTO Portable Sawmill |
 Leaky Pipes |  Camel Photobomb |  Teabucks |  Diabetes Donation |  Garmin Drive |
15-Nov-2019 |