Understanding Women

Genie in a bottle - one wish 4U...


A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say “nothing”, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”


QuotaBills
Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Genie  &  Relationship  Sections
Understanding Women - Pocket Edition

A Mother’s Love
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before Online Dating
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
When Men Shop For Groceries
Will To Live
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Parking Forever

I've Got Time

Red Wine Diet

Nice Try, Mom

Flight of the Ladybug

Time To Retire

Chess On The Wall

Tree Face

Bad Day Flyer

Back Bard

St. Peter's Fish

Feed Me

Horse Model

Get In Line!

Coffee World
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09-Dec-2019