Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.
When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you
have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”
And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
see also Irish, Little Johnny & St. Patrick’s Day Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
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24-Oct-2021 |