Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.
When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you
have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”
And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce
Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
see also Irish, Little Johnny & St. Patrick’s Day Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
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05-Jun-2020 |