Little Leprechaun

Irish ingenuity

What happens when you scare a national legend


Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.

When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”

And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy

Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson


see also   Irish,  Little Johnny  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

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15-May-2022