Catholic Math

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying. Books & papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Johnny looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

QuotaBills
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Bison: What you say when your child leaves for school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

Well, another day has passed and I didn't use Algebra once. - Unknown

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

Drum soloing is like doing a marathon and solving equations at the same time. - Neil Peart

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Aftermath: 1. The period following algebra; 2. The horrible headache you have when you've finished the algebra test. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

I've been doing projects outdoors for the public. I made pigeons eat geometry by putting bread out in rhomboids and triangles. - Jenny Holzer

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

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16-May-2022