Catholic Math

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying. Books & papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Johnny looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

QuotaBills
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Drum soloing is like doing a marathon and solving equations at the same time. - Neil Peart

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

To be safe at the expense of the liberty of other people is a difficult equation. - Madeleine Albright

If you took love out of the equation, I wouldn't know what else to write about. - Nick Cave

Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

You have to be cool under pressure. You have to be a strategist like chess, and you have to use geometry like billiards. - Bill McBride

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

You can't be afraid of getting old. Old is good, if you're gathering in life. Our band is good at understanding that equation. - Bruce Springsteen

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

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25-Oct-2021