Catholic Math

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying. Books & papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Johnny looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

QuotaBills
I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Pure mathematics, may it never be of any use to anyone. - Henry Smith

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

To be safe at the expense of the liberty of other people is a difficult equation. - Madeleine Albright

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

In one equation you can solve all the puzzles of life. It is the equation of giving. - Amit Ray

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Ronald Reagan knew who he was. Barack Obama is still working through that equation politically. - Joe Scarborough

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

At the end of the day if you want to entertain people, you've got to take your ego out of the equation. - Paul Feig

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

Amazingly when you add life and consciousness to the equation you can actually explain some of the biggest puzzles of science. - Robert Lanza

Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan

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20-Jan-2020