Catholic Math

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying. Books & papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Johnny looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

QuotaBills
Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

Well, another day has passed and I didn't use Algebra once. - Unknown

Pew: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation. - Terry Pratchett

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

In one equation you can solve all the puzzles of life. It is the equation of giving. - Amit Ray

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

Aftermath: 1. The period following algebra; 2. The horrible headache you have when you've finished the algebra test. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Probably no symbol in mathematics has evoked as much mystery, romanticism, misconception and human interest as the number pi. - William L Schaaf

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

Risk and failure is a part of our equation, and if you are seeing too little failure, you are actually probably not taking enough risks. - Peter Barris

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan

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13-Jul-2020