Bright Redneck

Who Says All Rednecks Are Dubm?


“Hello, is this the FBI?”
“Yes. What do you want?”

“I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith. He's hiding marijuana inside his firewood.”

“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.

The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
“Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?”
“Yeah!”
“Did they chop your firewood?”
“Yep.”
“Happy Birthday, Bubba.”


QuotaBills
Smart tyrants retire rich. - Voltaire

Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

Creativity is intelligence having fun. - Albert Einstein

Imagination is intelligence having fun. - George Scialabra

The prospects are bright as the promises of God. - Adoniram Judson

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz

Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence. - Spanish Proverb

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

Quota: Someone who likes to report other people's speech - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

She may very well pass for 43 in the dusk with the light behind her! - W S Gilbert

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. - P.T. Barnum

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others. - Unknown

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Unknown

There is no worse screen to block out the Spirit than confidence in our own intelligence. - John Calvin

Architecture is the learned game, correct and magnificent, of forms assembled in the light. - Le Corbusier

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. - Mark Twain

I cannot work; I cannot speak; I cannot live or love as I should, unless God's wisdom lights my path. - David Jeremiah

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville

Dubmerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind


see also   Redneck  Section
Bright People
Conservative Plant
Cow Return
Cowcycle
First Shipment
Ottawa White Smoke
Pipe Talk
Puntastic
Seattle After Pot Was Legalized
Stay Off The Grass
Tearable Puns
Tridgeridoo

 

Redneck Sandals

Down Under Statue

Ventriloquist Isolation

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

PEI Weather

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Shopping With Your Husband

Where is Waldo?

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Reflective Art
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05-Jul-2022