Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...


This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage



All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

QuotaBills
Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. - Babe Ruth

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

I just heard from Bill Bailey. He's not coming home. - Henny Youngman

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

A person is happiest whether they be rich or poor, when there is peace in their home. - Unknown

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

If you want to know who is going to change this country, go home and look in the mirror. - Maude Barlow

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


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22-Apr-2021