Sorry About The Mess

Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. - Babe Ruth

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

I just heard from Bill Bailey. He's not coming home. - Henny Youngman

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

A person is happiest whether they be rich or poor, when there is peace in their home. - Unknown

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

If you want to know who is going to change this country, go home and look in the mirror. - Maude Barlow

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright