Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Despair is the conclusion of fools. - Benjamin Disraeli

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Showing off is the fool's idea of glory. - Bruce Lee

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

A genius from nine to five - a fool at the weekends. - Unknown

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Fool: One whom bigger fools believe to be a man of merit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the mainstream and dam it up. - John Naisbitt

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

Knowledge is a deadly friend when no one sets the rules;
The fate of all mankind I see is in the hand of fools. - King Crimson

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

The denial of an objective moral law based on the compulsion to deny the existence of God results ultimately in the denial of evil itself. - Ravi Zacharias

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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23-Oct-2021