Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
A quiet fool is half a sage. - Yiddish Proverb

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Lawyers are guardians of the legal order. - Philip Wood

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

He is a fool that kisseth the maid when he may kiss the mistress. - English Proverb

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them. - Karen M Moning

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. - Wilson Mizner

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. - Doug Larson

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself on the public. - Robert Morley

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato

Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it. - Ursula K. Le Guin

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. - Mark Twain

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - WC Fields

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A diamond was laying in the street covered with dirt. Many fools passed by. Someone who knew diamonds picked it up. - Kabir

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Written laws are like spider's webs; they will catch the weak and poor, but would be torn in pieces by the rich and powerful. - Anacharsis

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Redneck Tank Top

Grasping Shirt

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Hazardous Delivery

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

Staff Teeth

Media Bondage

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Sports Hernias

Low Expectation Autographs

The Moist Wet Territories

Cat Doormat

Redneck Foosball

Shining Stars

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

My Toaster Is Broken

Solemate
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

12-Apr-2021