Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The fool wonders, the wise man asks. - Benjamin Disraeli

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle

I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. - Jonathan Swift

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus

That's the spirit - one part brave, three parts fool. - Christopher Paolini

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. - Latin Proverb

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown

A good trumpeter has the power to rouse fools into making slaughter. - Virgil

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool. - Epicurus

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are operators of toll bridges which anyone in search of justice must pass. - Jane Bryant Quinn

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown

Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard P Feynman

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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05-Jul-2020