Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

The fool wonders, the wise man asks. - Benjamin Disraeli

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. - Latin Proverb

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. - Wilson Mizner

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered. - Aristotle

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. - George Santayana

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. - Plato

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Great men undertake great things because they are great; fools, because they think them easy. - Vauvenargues

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The zombies were like Canadians, in that they looked enough like real people at first, to fool you. - Kelly Link

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

We are all the fools of time and terror: Days Steal on us and steal from us; yet we live, Loathing our life, and dreading still to die. - George Gordon Byron

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
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16-Dec-2019