Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

The worst men often give the best advice. - Francis Bacon

I always advise people never to give advice. - P G Wodehouse

Don't give advice unless you're asked. - Amy Alcott

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop

Generosity gives assistance, rather than advice. - Marquis de Vauvenargues

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe

Advice is like mushrooms. The wrong kind can prove fatal. - Charles E McKenzie

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. - Unknown

Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do. - H.W. Shaw

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping that it will eat him last. - Winston Churchill

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

My first advice on how not to grow old would be to choose your ancestors carefully. - Bertrand Russell

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it. - Jack Nicholson

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

My advice to myself and to everyone else, particularly young people, is to turn on, tune in and drop out. - Timothy Leary

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese


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27-Jul-2021