Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

In giving advice I advise you, be short. - Horace

I always advise people never to give advice. - P G Wodehouse

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop

Generosity gives assistance, rather than advice. - Marquis de Vauvenargues

See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. - Bill Haley

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - George Carlin

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do. - H.W. Shaw

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

Some quick advice for success in life: Don't be afraid, be amazing. - Cuthbert Soup

Never worry about criticism from people you would never take advice from. - Unknown

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

My first advice on how not to grow old would be to choose your ancestors carefully. - Bertrand Russell

God made Adam first because he didn't want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. - Unknown

Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it. - Agatha Christie

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it. - Jack Nicholson

He is bad that will not take advice, but he is a thousand times worse that takes every advice. - Unknown

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

"Quit now, you'll never make it." If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. - David Zucker

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom. - Mark Twain

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
3 Frogs
Alligator Molesting
Alligator Path
Aussie Boat Ride
Aussie Winter Crocs
Biking in Florida
Croc Lunge
Croc Surfing
Crocs Shoes
Farmer’s Hole
Florida Sewer Rat
Gator Baiter
Real Crocodile Leather
Redneck Manicure
Reptile Ride

 

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28-Sep-2020