Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters

Farmer gives young women something to “pond”er over


The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.

At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

The old man frowned, “I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket, he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill...


QuotaBills
Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

In giving advice I advise you, be short. - Horace

Don't give advice unless you're asked. - Amy Alcott

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop

Generosity gives assistance, rather than advice. - Marquis de Vauvenargues

One can give advice comfortably from a safe port. - Johann Von Schiller

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk. - Valencia Mackie

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it. - Jack Nicholson

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

He is bad that will not take advice, but he is a thousand times worse that takes every advice. - Unknown

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

Here's good advice for practice: go into partnership with nature; she does more than half the work and asks none of the fee. - Martin H. Fischer

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese


see also   Crocodile  &  Farm   Sections
3 Frogs
Alligator Molesting
Alligator Path
Aussie Boat Ride
Aussie Winter Crocs
Biking in Florida
Croc Lunge
Croc Surfing
Crocs Shoes
Farmer’s Hole
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Gator Baiter
Real Crocodile Leather
Redneck Manicure
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24-Oct-2020