[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The
following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry,
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know
what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow
Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying
‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish
moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
G: You’re very welcome.
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus
Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert
Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost
Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin
Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown
Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable. - Leonard Bernstein
I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain
The great myth of our times is that technology is communication. - Libby Larsen
Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal
Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion
The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain
I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand
The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Ninety percent of leadership is the ability to communicate something people want. - Dianne Feinstein
The result of bad communication is a disconnection between strategy and execution. - Chuck Martin
Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe
Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere
Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie
Xylophone: Revolutionary communication device that turns the sounds of the voice into a mellow, musical chime - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass
The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay
Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood
The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra
Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis
More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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