[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The
following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry,
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know
what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow
Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying
‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish
moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
G: You’re very welcome.
Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle
Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid
Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia
Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown
Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham
The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman
A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
We now communicate with everyone and say absolutely nothing. - Ted Koppel
Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias
If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz
Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand
Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle
A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli
No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn
Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard
Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw
You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones
I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus
Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie
To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass
A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner
Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown
Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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