A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
Hurt much?
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
A short saying oft contains much wisdom. - Sophocles
I Said So: Reason enough, according to Dad - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dadicated: Being the best father you can be - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. - Joan Rivers
Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name. - Mignon McLaughlin
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
Saying no to something is actually much more powerful than saying yes. - Tom Hanks
It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton
Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it. - George Santayana
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII
Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it. - Adolf Hitler
My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain
My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy
That's what Abel was saying when he got it in the back from his own brother with a cane. - Archie Bunker
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg
There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it. - Ben Stiller
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold
It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary. - Winston Churchill
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16
A father is a life source, a protector, a life coach, a provider, and many more. You are special and indispensable. - Unknown
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad. - Jack Baker
I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. - Russell Baker
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader
Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune. - Noam Chomsky
see also Quote Section
Father’s Day Selfie
Fatherly Advice
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
 If You're Happy And You Know It |  Deer Hunter Tattoo |  Nope, Didn't See A Thing |  Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up |  Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids |
 Re-Ewes Me |  It's A Keeper |  Plankstanders |  Millionaire Women |  Laptop Cooler |
 Scan Scam |  Motorcycle Taxi |  I've Got Time |  Clangeroo |  Redneck Cooler |
 Instead Of Flowers |  Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side |  I Love Summer |  Karma Towing |  Salmon-chanted Evening |
25-Jul-2021 |