A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx
Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong
Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. - Mel Brooks
I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no. - Richard Branson
The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London
My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child
It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. - Bill Keane
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain
My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
Failure is God's way of saying, "Excuse me, you're moving in the wrong direction." - Oprah
I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse
That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison
Yes and No are very short words to say, but we should think for some length of time before saying them. - Unknown
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world. - Tupac Shakur
When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?" - Joseph Heller
To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes
God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16
Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Father’s Day Selfie
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
The End in Canada
Symptoms of Laziness
2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)
Mind The Pedestrians
Trapped in the 5th Dimension
Wet Floor Caution
Where Safety Begins