A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire
The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth
I Said So: Reason enough, according to Dad - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
A father is the one friend upon whom we can always rely. - Emile Gaboriau
A proverb is a wise saying, old yet radiant with novelty. - Erasmus
Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien
I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex
One need not always be saying something in this noisy world. - Sarah O Jewett
I'm a father; that's what matters most. Nothing matters more. - Gordon Brown
Saying no to something is actually much more powerful than saying yes. - Tom Hanks
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain
Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias
My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu
An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis
My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis
Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield
My dad's pants kept creeping up on him. By 65 he was just a pair of pants and a head. - Jeff Altman
Of all the titles I've been privileged to have, 'Dad' has always been the best. - Ken Norton
The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
I love my father as the stars - he's a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. - Terri Guillemets
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham
To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe
I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa
When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Doing and saying the right thing are not sufficient. Doing the right thing in the right way and with the person's comfort in mind is critical. - Ravi Zacharias
Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune. - Noam Chomsky
Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten
Father’s Day Selfie
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
Bomb Squad Prank
Origin of the Whoopee Cushion
Better With A Beard
Fat Twin Sisters
Breathe in the Ocean
Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse
Phones At Six
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night
Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles