When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion…
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part…
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most of all…
10) Everyone PRAISES the man and THANKS him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her
annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women!
The thinking man's crumpet. - Frank Muir
Every man over 40 is a scoundrel. - George Bernard Shaw
Golden dreams make men awake hungry. - Proverb
Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau
Never murder a man who is about to commit suicide. - German Proverb
As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow
As a moth gnaws a garment, so doth envy consume a man. - Saint John Chrysostom
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest. - Roseanne Barr
Most men look to what is right for them. Few search for the truth. - Unknown
A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal. - Russian Proverb
Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West
Truth is the property of no individual, but is the treasure of all men. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. - Kin Hubbard
Man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up. - John C Maxwell
There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet. - Samuel Beckett
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. - Dorothy Parker
The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases. One of its diseases is called Man. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
When you speak to a man, look on his eyes; when he speaks to thee, look on his mouth. - Benjamin Franklin
Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. - Oliver W. Holmes
Inaction will cause a man to sink into the slough of despond and vanish without a trace. - Farley Mowat
Men who are orthodox when they are young are in danger of being middle-aged all their lives. - Walter Lippmann
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes
It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities. - Eric Hoffer
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions. - David Borenstein
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller
The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard
Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner
The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men. - Norman MacDonald
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. - Unknown
Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller
I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly
A convention is a splendid place to study human nature. Man in a crowd is quite a different creature than man acting alone. - William Jennings Bryan
There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm any hostility. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren
Men are so simple of mind, and so much dominated by their immediate needs, that a deceitful man will always find plenty who are ready to be deceived. - Niccolo Machiavelli
Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell
Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds. - Zig Ziglar
see also Dining, Food & Marriage
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