Looking tired and disgusted, Shawn went to see his doctor. The doctor could barely contain his surprise when he saw carrots growing from the man’s nostrils. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman 'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw 'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler see also Relationship Section Alternate Uses For Brand Name Products Cutting Off Board Duck Tomato Italian Chef Memorial Long Noodles Mexican Jews Reasons to Stop Dieting Special Southernisms Texas Chili Taster The 1500s The New Supermarket Three Tomatoes Tomato IV Tomato Sprouts Tomato Treat Truly Tasteless Veggie 1-800-PILLCASH Acceptable Doctors Sign Alzheimer’s Wing An Old Man’s Dying Request Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness Birth Control Pill For Men Car Surgeon Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality Chewing Gum Hazard Chiropractor Mailbox Coke Dispenser Colon Celery Colorectal Exam For Dogs Colorectal Surgeon Praise Constipated Mathematician Diabetes Medication Do You Have An HMO? Doctor Stories Doctor Types Doctor’s Flat Examination Doctor’s Hunting Skills Doctor’s OR Specialty Dog Proctologist Dogter Dreaded Furniture Disease Ebola Diet Exhausting Gyne Work Fart Facts First Proctologist Exam Flu Fashion German Flatulence Control HMO Judgment Day Hygiene On The Farm HAGS Disease Is Laughter The Best Medicine? Magnetic Personality Mechanical Patient Menopause Sucks One Wee Scottish Farty Proctologist Call Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice Redneck Flu Shot Shower Bar Simple Surgery Singing Gynecologist Sons Of Arthritis Swine Flu Symptoms Tattoo Implants Typeface for Doctors Viagra Overdose Worst Aid |
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