“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
Trade Secrets: What women do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I like women, I don't understand them, but I like them. - Sean Connery

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

Trust no friend without faults, and love a woman, but no angel. - Doris Lessing

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. - Christopher Morley

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. - Diane Mariechild

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

Being the boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so. - Robert Frost

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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19-Jun-2021