“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

A woman described me as a bit of a looker the other day. Well, 'voyeur' was the actual word she used. - Gary Delaney

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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26-Nov-2020