Fine: This is
the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to
shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you
to have one of those arguments.
Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even
trade.
Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting
upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.
Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want
because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a
few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you
in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
“Nothing”.
Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside
down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last
“Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.
Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get
that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If
she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She
will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the
lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more
to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so
unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.
Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to
come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have
done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a
“That’s Okay”.
Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of
the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not
move or breathe and she will stay content.
Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.
Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say,
“Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have
hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be
careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell
you “Nothing.”
That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man.
“That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you
retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used
with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go
Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are
going to be in some mighty big trouble.
Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Woman, the most dangerous of playthings. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce
A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb
As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce
The power of forgiveness transcends personal relationships. - Eric Metaxas
Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns
Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp
A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West
Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry
Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown
My vigour, vitality, and cheek repel me. I am the kind of woman I would run from. - Nancy Astor
When I passed 40 I dropped pretence, 'cause men like women who got some sense. - Maya Angelou
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde
A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall
Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde
The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams
Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard
By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin
All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
see also Relationship Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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