“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Women's word is never done. - American Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Woman, the most dangerous of playthings. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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30-May-2020