“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Women would rather be right than reasonable. - Ogden Nash

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise. - Unknown

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Frump: A woman who looks her age and doesn't try to overlook it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

Looking at how successful all the Kardashian women are, I don't blame Bruce Jenner at all. - Trevor Noah

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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26-May-2022