“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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15-Dec-2019