“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise. - Unknown

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. - Unknown

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

Strengthen the female mind by enlarging it, and there will be an end to blind obedience. - Mary Wollstonecraft

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

If a woman says, 'Do what you want', do not do what you want. Stand still. Do not blink. Don't even breathe. Just play dead. - Unknown


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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08-Mar-2021