The next time you’re given a souvenir from Thailand - a jade pendant perhaps, or an opium weight - don’t be surprised if it’s wrapped in elephant dung. Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper. - Taylor J Reid Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon Paper Napkin: Its only ambition is to get down off your lap and play on the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. - Jerry Brown Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag. - Jeremy Grantham My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. - Ernest Hemingway France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker see also Animal Section African Car Wash Animal Groups Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant Do Not Feed The Animals Downhill Safari Elephant Blues Elephant Breath Elephant Bus Elephant Circumcision Elephant Enema Elephant Haircut Elephant Hand Elephant Heist Elephant Instructions Elephant Ludo Elephant Nest Elephant Phonics Elephant Soccer Elephant Stew Elephant Sunset Elephant Trampoline Elephant’s Long Memory Herd Mentality Hide & Seek How Many Elephant Legs? Identity Theft IrrElephant Kermit Frog Loan King Of The Jungle Let ’Er Rip Looking For Something? Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All No-Elephant Building Overloaded Pooped Out Playground Potty Training An Elephant Professional Test River Crossing Serengeti Tug of War Stretch Elephants This Is My Road Touching Elephant Story Trunk Sleeper Viagra Elephant Weight Wait When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros Zebra Keyboard |
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