A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.
After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.
“Mary... Mary....”
“Is that you, Fred?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”
“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”
“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope
Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates
Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair
A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring
Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great
Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Begin to be now what you will be hereafter. - William James
You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. - Garrison Keillor
In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - Groucho Marx
Sex at the age of 90 is like playing billiards with a rope. - Camille Paglia
They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood
They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone
Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown
Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw
The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. - John Milton
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler
No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. - Bob Hope
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield
Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay
Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry
More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey
Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid
Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck
Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates
Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair
A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring
Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great
Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Begin to be now what you will be hereafter. - William James
You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. - Garrison Keillor
In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - Groucho Marx
Sex at the age of 90 is like playing billiards with a rope. - Camille Paglia
They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood
They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone
Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown
Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw
The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. - John Milton
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler
No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. - Bob Hope
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield
Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay
Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry
More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey
Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid
Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck
see also Aging, History & Trivia Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas
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18-Jan-2021 |