Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Joy is the serious business of Heaven. - C S Lewis

Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair

Sex is the biggest nothing of all time. - Andy Warhol

Seek not outside yourself, heaven is within. - Mary Lou Cook

Heaven grant us patience with a man in love. - Rudyard Kipling

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven. - John Milton

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - Groucho Marx

Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. - Thomas Carlyle

Paragorically, I will not let you ever talk about our sex life. - Archie Bunker

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. - Unknown

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. - Will Rogers

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
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Before The Impact
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Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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28-Jun-2022