Bat Control

All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

A full mind is an empty baseball bat. - Branch Rickey

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots. - Ozzy Osbourne

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov