Construction SNAFU Awards

Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

Awards are like piles. Sooner or later, every bum gets one. - Maureen Lipman

The only thing Cy Young didn't win was the Cy Young Award. - Joe Torre

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. - Mark Twain

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. - Jack Benny

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I really wanted the MTV Award the most, It was a golden popcorn container and it looks really neat. - Kirsten Dunst

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award. - Bill Murray

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

When a man's suit fits, when the construction is beautiful, when the sewing and fabrics are there - in the end, you'll look the best in it. - John Varvatos