Fishing Trip With Jack
An un-frog-etable story
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I finally got around to going fishing this morning, but after a while I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.  Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten. I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.  His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog. A little later I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in the South. Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright Castanet: Primitive fishing method - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake. - Persian Proverb A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke Fishing is not like billiards, in which it is possible to attain a disgusting perfection. - Arthur Ransome Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt Unsporting: Any fishing technique that has as its chief object the capture of fish rather than the accumulation of fishing equipment - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown Edible: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo Bar with us while we Fish for Snakes Whiskey Around The World Anaconda Attack Manual - Be Prepared! 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