Baby “Sitter”

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

A babysitter should at least be out of puberous. - Archie Bunker

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz