Baby “Sitter”

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

A babysitter should at least be out of puberous. - Archie Bunker

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash