Taking Too Many Seats

How to remove an uncooperative old man at a concert

An elderly man lay sprawled across three entire seats at a concert. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The old man didn’t budge.

The usher became more impatient.
“Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old dishevelled man, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police.

The responding officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“Fred,” the old man moaned.
“Where you from, Fred?” asked the police officer.
With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied, “The balcony...”



QuotaBills
Where words fail, music speaks. - Hans Christian Anderson

Music is the poetry of the air. - Jean Paul Richter

Music is an outburst of the soul. - Frederick Delius

He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

Kind words are the music of the world. - F.W. Faber

Music is a means of rapid transportation. - John Cage

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The earth has its music for those who will listen. - George Santayana

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals. - Charles Baudelaire

Music - what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon! - Maria Augusta von Trapp

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach

The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music? - Richard Wagner

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. - Thomas Beecham

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

Music acts like a magic key, to which the most tightly closed heart opens. - Maria Augusta von Trapp

Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies. - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

When you are about 35 years old, something terrible always happens to music. - Steve Race

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

Music is everybody's business. It's only the publishers who think people own it. - John Lennon

It is simply my life, music. I live it, breathe it, talk with it. I am almost unconscious of it. - Arthur Rubinstein

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. - Maya Angelou

Stay in your seat come times of trouble. Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt. - Paul Harvey

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

If Music is a Place - then Jazz is the City, Folk is the Wilderness, Rock is the Road, Classical is a Temple. - Vera Nazarian

A university is an institution that has two thousand seats in the classrooms and eighty thousand in the stadium. - Unknown

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. - Charlie Parker

Silent Disco: A disco in which all the participants wear wireless headphones to hear the music, thus eliminating noise pollution - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in your veins. Everything living has a rhythm. Do you feel your music? - Michael Jackson

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner


see also   Aging,  Music,  Police  &  Stress  Sections
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25-Jun-2022