Queen Donald

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth. - Donald Trump

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Why do I have to follow CNN on Twitter? If I want to follow CNN, I can follow them on CNN. - Jon Stewart

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin