Queen Donald

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

To many, no doubt, he will seem blatent and bumptious, but we prefer to regard him as being simply British. - Oscar Wilde

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The biggest mistake we see companies make when they first hit Twitter is to think about it as a channel to push out information. - Tim O'Reilly

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin