Good Morning Liberals

Roosevelt for Ex-president - Wendell L Willkie

How can a President not be an actor? - Ronald Reagan

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

Some people like to eat octopus. Liberals, mostly. - Russell Baker

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. - Groucho Marx

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - George Stephanopolous

When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal. - Richard M Nixon

Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said. - Donald Rumsfeld

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

A liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn't own. - Frank Dane

Republicans will do anything for the poor except get off their backs. - American Proverb

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat. - Jackie Kennedy

Democrats haven't been this upset since Republicans freed their slaves. - Unknown

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure. - James K Polk

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. - George Bernard Shaw

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. - Jon Stewart

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

I can remember when Democrats believed that it was the duty of America to fight for freedom over tyranny. - Zell Miller

Being President is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. - Lyndon Johnson

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. - Oscar Levant

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others. - Ambrose Bierce

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons. Neither the offender nor the offended are any more themselves. - Blaise Pascal