Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. - Warren G Bennis

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin


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26-May-2020