Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy


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18-Apr-2021