Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.999 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. - Joshua Bruns

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


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25-Nov-2020