Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden


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24-Jan-2020