Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Bulldozing: Going to sleep during a political speech. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork


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06-Dec-2021