Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft


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12-Aug-2020