Make My Daisy

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher