Redneck Hedge Trimming

Measure twice, cut once. - Craftsman Aphorism

Measure a thousand times and cut once. - Turkish Proverb

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Hedgehogs - why don't they just share the hedge? - Unknown

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him. - Robert Byrne

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

What is drama after all, but life with the dull bits cut out. - Alfred Hitchcock

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. - Al Bernstein

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back with a hinge in it. - Charles D. Warner

The media landscape of the present day is a map in search of a territory. - J.G. Ballard

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

The greatest men have been those who have cut their way to success through difficulties. - F.W. Robertson

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. - Virginia Woolf

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein. - George W. Bush

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

The tropical rain forests are a telling example. Once cut down, they rarely recover. Rainfall drops, deserts spread, the climate warms. - James Lovelock

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand. - General Colin Powell

I've met talespinners before, Jake, and they're all cut more or less from the same cloth. They tell tales because they're afraid of life. - Stephen King