Redneck Coffee Table

Wherever I sit is the head of the table. - H.L. Mencken

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

At a round table there is no dispute about place. - Italian Proverb

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses. - Archie Bunker

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops. - Groucho Marx

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda