Redneck Coffee Table

Keep calm and run the table. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

I did not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me. - Henri Matisse

Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops. - Groucho Marx

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

Bad Luck: To have thirteen people seated at the table when you’re paying for the drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda