Ukrainian Sausage

Are you qualified to buy Ukrainian sausage?


A man goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Ukrainian sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Ukrainian?”

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you?
The clerk says, “Well, no.”

“And if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
The clerk says, “Well, I probably wouldn’t.”

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Ukrainian just because I ask for Ukrainian sausage?”
The clerk replies, “Because you’re at Home Depot.”


QuotaBills
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

What we've got here is a failure to communicate. - Cool Hand Luke

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

We now communicate with everyone and say absolutely nothing. - Ted Koppel

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Ninety percent of leadership is the ability to communicate something people want. - Dianne Feinstein

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

There is no lonelier person than the one who lives with a spouse with whom he or she cannot communicate. - Margaret Mead

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Good leaders must communicate vision clearly, creatively and continually. However, the vision doesn't come alive until the leader models it. - John C Maxwell

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


see also   Language  Section
Slovak Muffler Accessory
Ukrainian Air Conditioning
Ukrainian Cattle Car
Ukrainian Horse Transportation

 

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform

All Mine

Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers

Olympic Preparations

Row Your Goat

My Kind Of Exercise

Surround Sound for Babies

Cemetery Protest

Clean Senior Citizens

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Goodbye Tattoo

What Goes Round Comes Round

Augustweggen

Scary Ice Cream
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

01-Aug-2021